One day at a time

There is a fine line in exposing too much, really a fear. Please love me in spite of the good and the bad.

A few months ago I tried my hand at making my very first homemade cheese cake. To my surprise it was easy to make and mighty tasty. Over the follow 3 days I proceeded to gorge myself on that delicious cheesecake. Why am I telling you this you might ask. Well I started a new “diet” nearly 3 weeks ago and I so cleverly named it, “Don’t eat a whole cheesecake in (less than) 3 days by yourself” During the last 3 weeks I enjoyed 2 Thanksgiving dinners and I have made 2 more cheesecakes. Carmel pecan cheesecakes to be exact. This year I have had a lot to be thankful for and one of the things I am thankful for is I had the pleasure of making those cheesecakes for my loved ones to enjoy and that I didn’t have one bite. I never quite understood the way my mom always enjoyed cooking/baking. She seemed to enjoy our enjoyment of the food more than preparing the food. I can now understand. To see my family enjoy something I made for them was very rewarding. Tonight I am up preparing yet another cheesecake.(yep its 1am) This time it is a pumpkin pecan cheesecake. I am making this wonderful treat for my coworkers as a celebration of my new position that will allow me to work solely from home.

I am confident in my latest temptation. You see back in the first week of November I had a revelation that I was still bound by my ongoing weigh/body issues. Sadly, I have struggled with body issue for as long as I can remember. I have cried out for years for freedom in this area of my life. During that 1st week of the 11th month I could feel myself slipping into a dark season I unfortunately knew all too well. For me it has been a viscous cycle. Change even though needed has at times seemed too overwhelming and required more than I was willing to give. I have laid down this issue more times I can count yet I somehow always seem to find myself back in the of throws of the lies before I even realize. I have read countless Godly self help books on how to be free. I have sought Godly counsel yet I keep getting in the way. Unless you have felt this lie alive and active in your life it is hard to understand (I pray that you never will know the pain this lie causes). The lie tends to infiltrate every area of my life. The depths of my struggles are hard to convey and all together to hard to admit. It seems like a no brainer, no biggie but sadly I have bought it. The lie in a nut shell; my self worth is directly related to the size, shape of my body.

On November 14 at 2pm I committed to change,

One day at a time.

&copy